The Victim/Garden Song

The Victim

And with every stroke, you took a piece of my soul

With every thrust, you destroyed my happiness

With every plead that you ignored, you made me feel more and more worthless

Why is it that you go unscathed but I am still hurting?

You raped me and I am in enough pain for the both of us

You raped me and I can’t look at my body the same

I can’t stand to touch myself 

I need help with my mental health

You raped me and you don’t even care

I cry everyday

And when I don’t, I feel nothing

I cry so much we don’t need the sky for rain

I could take countries out of droughts, I could water crops for days

I haven’t been happy since forever, but this has turned me insane

I attempted suicide, and sometimes I wish I succeeded 

But here I am

Still numb, yet somehow still feeling enough pain for the both of us

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Garden Song

Can you make a garden out of the pain you once felt? The pain you once inflicted?

Can truly beautiful roses grow from such ugly roots?

Sometimes I feel like a flower 

The most delicate one of all

The one that shot out of the most toxic soil

But yet I grow

Still I grow

I constantly falter but here I stand 

With so much more sun and water to absorb

I am tall but not tall enough and I wonder if the soil from my beginnings hold me down

Pull me down

Drag me all the way down

And I wonder how many more thorns will grow

And prick the many people that I love

Oh how there’s many less people that I love

Because they tried to separate me from the soil

From the pain that I am

They expect me to be strong no matter what

I cannot be myself without what I have gone through 

I cannot ignore it, I must grow with it

But still yet I wonder if that’s what’s stopping me from being everything I want to be

Everything that I should be