Felt/Love

Felt 

The only felt I should know is the tip of my coloured pens but I’ve felt hands on me that weren’t my own
Hands that have stuck with me for over 10 years
Hands that stick like honey and superglue combined
I am a child at heart but a complicated broken one
A child that begs herself to see past everyone’s mistakes
I have been felt many times by the wrong boys but I still believe that they’ll one day give me every felt tip pen in the colouring box to be free
How can I expect freedom from the ones that trapped and hurt me?
How can I expect different from the same things?
The same hands that pushed me down are the ones I want to lift me up
My childlike hope destroys me once again and still I’m looking for colouring pens
I’m looking to be a kid again in my most adult moments but maybe I can be both
Being older doesn’t mean life can’t be great
It doesn’t mean I can’t smile again
It doesn’t mean there’s no innocence left
I can exist on both sides and exist happily

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Love

You have to be strong
You have to remember that everyone loves you 
I know that it’s hard
But just start with getting out of bed
Then maybe having a glass of water or juice
Try and eat if you can
If you can’t that’s ok, we’ll try later
But stop playing that depressing music
The silence consumes you I know
But better silence than darkness
Watch a little TV if you want
But don’t become brain dead, grab a book
Now definitely go and eat if you haven’t 
You know I just want the best for you
Please look after yourself
You don’t deserve to be in a hospital bed again
I don’t want you in a hospital bed again
Lie down and tell yourself that you are real
Your feelings are real, your memories are real
You are here and you are making such a change
Don’t you ever forget that
Take a nap, you need some rest
You deserve the energy
You deserve to wake up and feel happy
That’s what you deserve every single day
I know it’s hard but it’s not impossible

Do it for me, please